i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she peed on how many people?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
