Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
