Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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