I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
