He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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