Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize