Jerry, you need to find god
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
