I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
