i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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