4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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