They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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