Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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