you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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