so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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