I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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