Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
