I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Lo siento on account of my penis...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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