I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
