The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
