i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
