the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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