Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize