I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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