sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
