Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
