We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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