Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
look no pants
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
