do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
