She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
