New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Two words: blizzard sex
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
