PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
