It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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