you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
