Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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