fuck your aforementioned shoe
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
