I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i dont even know how to be here
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
