it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
