this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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