You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
