The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
