the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
