Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
