it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
