so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
dude. I can hear the air.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
