He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
