Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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