Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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