Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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