10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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