So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
