i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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