Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
