i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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