come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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