I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
