he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Help. Why am I so naked?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
