wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
